Everything/one bores me – even when I’m drunk
Lately I’ve noticed something; everything is boring to me, even when I’m drunk.
When I’m sober I’m constantly bored, and that’s fine.
If I’m sober and:
I’m introduced to someone.
Somebody tells me about their weekend.
Someone is pregnant.
Someone lost their job.
Someone bought the Chanel backpack.
Hmmm, wait… no, it’s boring because it’s not me that bought it.
Somebody has a birthday.
Because these things don’t really affect me directly, I find the majority of them to be bullshit. Much like not watching other people’s Snapchats. I don’t care about other people’s lives, and although it sounds self-involved and quite horrid, it actually keeps me zen.
If I was to start looking at some girl’s Snaps and she’s skinner than me, richer than me, busier than me and she has a hot boyfriend, what is that going to do for my well-being? Not a great deal of good.
And so that’s why I literally only involve myself in things that involve myself. It makes me sound like a bitch, which is fine, because I am, but at least I’m a zen bitch. And I’d much rather have peace of mind than pieces of attention on Instagram.
I don’t suffer social media jealousy. I’m not consumed by what someone else is doing. I’m just doing me.
I went through a phase of concerning myself with the activities of others, before realising it was just getting me down and anxious and so I blocked all that out. I refuse to watch what other people are doing on social media, particularly since I learned it is actually ALL lies.
I’ve got some friends who cry themselves to sleep at night, but on social media they are screaming about how great shit is and about their outfits. It’s bullshit though.
I personally only lose sleep about important stuff, like when my dog died. If I was losing sleep over some girl pretending she’s better than me, well then I’d just feel sad. My therapist wouldn’t allow that anyway.
“Just don’t look,” my therapist would tell me. I was for a while getting lost in it and getting depressed about it and seriously having meltdowns, so I removed the problem and removed the anxiety. When it started affecting me I put a stop to it. Oh and I doubled my Xanax order, but any excuse…
So my constantly being bored of being bored all day is fine. It’s healthy and keeps me happy. But now it’s trickled into my night life…
Recently I’ve been getting drunk. And bored. Which is a new one for me.
My friend was talking to a girl. Bored.
She was one of those try hard girls and they were just having a brag off and I was so bored and over it. I was interested for a while because I thought one of them might slap the other, but when I realised that wouldn’t happen I couldn’t hide boredom from my face. This girl will assume I’m a horrid bitch, but don’t muddle being horrid with just not caring about who’s better than who.
The bathroom. Bored.
I had my brother’s girlfriend over in London. She’s American and I had to entertain her. We went to some bullshit event and in the bathrooms she got “spotted”. I should have found this cute, but I didn’t. It was cute for 54 seconds, and then after that it was just boring and I had a bar I needed to get to. They may as well have all just made out in the bathroom, that would have been way more fun and at least I could have filmed it.
New housemate. Bored.
So bored. A new housemate has moved in and I’ve just avoided him. I don’t want to meet a new housemate who I am eventually going to hate/fck/hate fck. He’s a guy and he leaves his fckin pubes and hair everywhere and so guess what, I’m bored and I’m not there enough to care or answer his boring questions about what I do and where I’m from. He totally thinks I’m mean but I’m ok with that. I am.
So bored of the boxer. He’s realised I turn into a monster when I don’t get my own way so he’s started playing these boring games… that I always win. I was trying to get him round on Friday when I was drunk at a music event. He was saying no, so I just said: “Ok, you do you.” And hung up. Bored.
Hat guy. Bored.
Telling me about his day and his kid. I put him on mute as I was so Goddamn bored. He’s a bit of a twat as you’ll know from the blogs before. So even his day-to-day chat has started to bore me. It’s weird because I like him as he’s a prick, but he’s so beginning to bore me, which is a shame, a shame for him.
For the next blog I’m going to think of fun things to do and we can consider all of them together.
Anyway I’m bored of this blog now.