Listen to me
So many people have been not listening to me recently, and it’s making me mad af.
I’ve decided that ignoring someone is the worst thing ever. Unless it’s a douchebag guy you’re fckin and who’s benched you but always replies to your texts.
There many different angles to ignoring someone. It comes in many guises, such as:
Ignoring someone’s texts.
Ignoring someone who’s in the same room as you and talking.
It’s all annoying af.
This weekend I said to my gbff: “If you hang out with xxxx you will mess up your whole week…”
We had a massive conversation about it, and those were honestly with no exaggeration my last words to him.
So what did he do? He went to hang out with xxxx and I woke up on Sunday to messages from both xxxx and my gbff. Here comes the drama.
Then I had a face time from my gbff so he could present to me his massive black eye. As I had predicted, hanging out with xxxx didn’t end well.
Social convention requires me to offer sympathy and not to say “I told you so…”, but I’m not really a follower of convention. I just yelled to put some ice on it, because I’m not a complete monster and the right hand side of his face was triple the size it usually is. But then I rolled up my vintage mohair sleeves and I began my self-absorbed one-hour lecture about the perils of not listening to me as I am often right. If not always.
He had ruined his week, and I told him he would ruin his week.
It gets frustrating telling someone exactly what’s going to happen and then them going ahead and doing it anyway.
Why do we choose not to listen to the advice of other people when clearly they know best?
How many times have I told a friend to ignore a douchebag guy and then watched them text him in front of me with a manic grin? How many times have I told myself to ignore a douchebag guy then watched myself text him with a manic grin?
I mean, I’m not saying it’s just everyone else doing it except me, like I’m perfect, because it isn’t. I do it too. I mean I’m pretty perfect, but I still fck up sometimes.
Advice I didn’t listen to
Here’s some shit advice which turned out to be great advice, but which I still didn’t listen to:
“Don’t resign over a guy at work.”
My friend Sarah lectured me across 56 texts that quitting work over a guy wasn’t a good idea. Unperturbed in the pub later that day I formally resigned to my boss because of said guy, whilst swigging a Corona and yelling “Right I quit.”
Because I didn’t know how to formally tender a resignation, it wasn’t accepted.
“Don’t drive three miles to spy on a guy who, as I’ve told you, is not cheating…”
He wasn’t cheating, he was going to a snooker club to play snooker. It’s fine, but I had to dump him for playing snooker because it screams ‘rotund’ and ‘chain smoker’. Or is that pool? Whatever. Waste of mileage.
“Don’t go to the guy’s place of work under the premise of ‘I’m just passing through’. ”
I wasn’t passing through at all. He worked in a restaurant, I needed to book. So I did. Meal for one. Inevitably enough, he never passed through me again.
“Don’t get matching tattoos.”
You’d think that would be good advice to listen to, but the Thai symbol of the guy’s name who I hate and who now hates me on my dainty little wrist says different. It was a Thailand holiday romance and was done with a bamboo shoot. Namaste.
I think the moral is to listen more and remember that ignoring is honestly the pits. Also, another moral is that ignoring will end badly, perhaps with physical scarring of some sort. Just fckin listen more, ok? Some of these pesky advice givers really do just have our best interests in mind. And if you ain’t gonna listen, don’t ask for the advice, yeah?