Try not to be a prick

My Life | January 9, 2018 | By

I was going to do a shit-tonne of blogs like most years about the joys of Christmas and the new year. But there isn’t any. So instead I packed myself off to Barbados to stay with some family friends. Radio silence ensued, naturally.

Anyway, happy holidays and all that shit, but I’m back now, and this blog isn’t ever going to be about ‘new year, new me’. I’ve seen enough bullshit Christmas posts and inspirational ‘new year, new me’ posts to last me the next three to five years, so I prefer to avoid that. We all know change can come on any day you want it to, and that a new number at the end of a load of numbers doesn’t bring a great deal of anything. We change when we’re ready, simple as that. 

Instead I will talk about how not to be a prick all year round. A handy guide for us all based on some stuff that’s recently happened to me.

Happy new year!

Social media chic

I try to stay chic on social media all year round, I can’t stress enough how vital this is. Remember in the olden days when people oversharing was literally the only reason to log in to Facebook. “My boyfriend was fckin the girl next door…”, “She didn’t cook my dinner right”, “He is such a cunt…” etc…?

Now, the majority have gotten used to the concept of social media, but still some continue with these kinds of lamentable contributions. The rule is this: as soon as a breakdown is impending immediately give all your social media logins to a trusted friend, let them change your passwords so you can’t do anything that screams meltdown. Once you’re over your rocky period, when they say so, you may have the passwords back and then take your helpful friend for a chic champagne tasting soirée in Paris to thank them for saving your dignity. Sharing is not indeed caring. Well maybe it is, sharing your heartbreak just shows you care, but that ain’t going to get you laid. Just keep your dirty laundry in the basket, doing it on social media is not acceptable. Luckily for me, no guy has fcked me over enough to warrant this action and no dogs have died on me this year either. 

Love me, love me not 

I think we all need to try and stay more aware of the state of our relationships or current rotation. For instance, I had no idea hat man was in love with me, and when I tried to fck his way more successful friend it made him super upset. How the fck was I supposed to know? It’s his own fault for pretending he hated me, and for telling me to try to bone his mate. He told me it was a test that I failed, but he failed his own test, the dumb fck. So he’s been non-stop crying about it and is sadly now out of the rotation.

It’s annoying because he was one of my favourites, but it’s fine as they’re all replaceable, So I need to try and recognise the good, the bad, and the fckin sad. Nobody’s getting any younger so we must learn to quickly recognise a fck boy and handle them accordingly. At the first sign of fuckery, be more self-aware and decide if you want to go forward. If you do, you can’t really complain when he acts like a cunt.

Friends

And lastly in true non-LostItGirl style, I’m just going to have a moment. Seriously, make sure you have good friends. I have a collection of the very best and I’m so lucky. But who is checking for you? Because the ones that are, and this blog, they are what’s gonna get you thorough the torrent of faeces that is constantly thrown our way regardless of what number is at the end of the calendar year. Shout out my dope ass friends and that’s enough lameness because it’s not very on brand.

Bye.

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