Hi there, and a happy new year, happy Christmas, whatever…
Firstly, I had lots of Christmas and new year blogs planned, I even had a recap of 2016, which was super fun and featured some of my personal highlights from the year and some of my fave meltdowns. But my whole jackweed LIG team decided to take two whole weeks off for the holidays, so they’ve now all been sacked.
Hope you like my new team. I sure as shit do, I’ve only met them three times so I don’t know their names yet but they all dress really well so I think we will get along.
So firstly they are going to post a bunch of blogs from before the holidays that the old team didn’t post. And then we can crack on with all the fun LIG things that have happened recently.
For now I’ll leave you with a quick run through of what I did for Christmas and the new year because it’s like 2nd Jan now and literally nobody cares about any of that shit any more. I personally won’t be asking anybody I haven’t seen for the past two weeks how their Christmas and NY was. Not because I don’t care (I don’t), but because it was so long ago and thus will be boring to me, plus I already know what everyone did – you got fat, you got drunk, you got depressed, you got bored and you got skint. So STFU.
Me on the other hand, well naturally I had a total CHICmas.
Me and my brother have single handedly been ruining Christmas since the age of six. It’s just a thing we like to do.
SO this year I dressed up as the slut Mary, offended everyone at a party with my take on the Christian symbol known as the Virgin Mary. Seriously, you can’t really get pregnant without someone fckin you. It’s just GCSE biology. Anyway, because my cute outfit offended everyone I decided to take it off and lap dance for my gay bff in front of his new boyfriend just to check he was defo gay and because I was so comfy in just my pants that I kept them in play for the rest of the night. So fun.
I didn’t know about any of my behaviour at the time, but luckily for me my sister did and she cried the whole way home in the taxi because a girl who’s name I wouldn’t know was offended by me. The thing with that was that I knew she was, and so that’s why I did it more. That’s one part I do remember.
I set up my LostItGirl ass in a hotel for most of it. Was super good.
Sadly I didn’t ruin new year so that was a shame, a shame for the people I was with.
The main thing to know from my own LIG holiday season is that I didn’t once sit in alone stress eating anything, I was far too busy to spend even a second in bed eating lumps of Christmas cheese. I’ve entered 2017 with my goal BMI and great skin since the spa cleaned all the 2016 toxins out of me. They came out in the form of spots but then left me with perfect blemish free ‘where the fck are your pores?’ skin.
All in all it was super fun. But the funnest part of all, is all of the boy drama that ensued. This is coming soon!
HNY. Love you all. And if you enjoy the blog, why not stop by and anonymously talk to us here. Click on that and chat away incognito…