And to reminisce…

I went out for dinner this week. I was stress-eating over a guy, which has become a weekly occurrence it would seem. Guys really do make me fat, I don’t date those feeders, it’s nothing weird like that. It’s just guys piss me off when they aren’t obsessed with me, when they play games, they stop texting me, or when they are disappointing in bed yet have all the other attributes.

At this juncture I go crazy, delete all evidence of them from my phone and then I drink and stress-eat. Then I meet someone else and repeat the process. And yes that does generally all happen within a week.

Full Treatment

The cause of stress this time was a guy I had admittedly given the full LostItGirl treatment to. I have nobody to blame but myself, except it wasn’t my fault. I was at a super-stressy point in my life and it wasn’t my fault that I got drunk and told him all the things I hate about him. Anyway so now he’s ignoring me. Whatever. He’s been archived on WhatsApp, I’ve gained a few pounds, I’ve blogged about it, and now it’s over.

Regardless, I wanted to stress-eat, so off out we went for dinner; me, JJ and Tay Tay. I was in the mood to hang out with people whose names rhyme and repeat themselves. Some days I’ll only talk to people whose names begin with A, sometimes I will only talk to people whose names sound more like that of a dogs. You know how it is.

We went to a restaurant and ordered Mexican beers, pitchers of Mexican cocktails and shots. I wanted all these. I became angry at the food situation.

It was very disappointing. I give minimal fcks about food, so JJ knows times are bad if any kind of emotion is arisen within me relating to this.

I then proceeded to slag off all the guys I hate (currently only three so it only took one pitcher to fulfil that).

Then Tay Tay started telling a tale about an ex of his, and it was almost to the word similar to an ex of mine. It was fckin spooky.

We Cried Together

We both began to reminisce about the past relationships that we had both solely fcked up. We could in no way blame the other side of the party, it was entirely down to our own behaviour.  It was actually super-depressing. Especially after all the Mexican beers, fajitas and pitcher two of Margaritas.

Tay Tay is a singer and freely admitted that although getting a number 1 single tomorrow would indeed be awesome, it would not actually fulfil his needs in life.

We both sat there and agreed that money, career and success is all bullshit because the only thing that actually makes it worthwhile is being with someone you’re really in to and don’t hate. It was a stupid conversation, but lest we forget, I was pissed out of my head.

I would never normally admit something like this sober. I can freely say love and stuff like that is shit. But if love and stuff is shit, and money, career and success is also shit – we don’t got a lot of other places we can go…

I guess being forced to reminisce on past relationships prompted me to remember that actually it’s not the worst thing in the world to have someone around you, other than the help who you can yell at.

“CLEAN STUFF!” “Ha fck you…”

What are we all here for? It’s not to earn loads of money and then swiftly die having never enjoyed it. It’s not to bust our balls working for someone else to earn loads of money, before swiftly dying.

It’s to do something you love, enjoy yourself, make sure everyone else around you is happy too (I do this by gracing them with my time), and the fckery bit is that really we are here to reproduce.

It’s gross, but nature is nature and we have sex bits so we are kind of meant to procreate. Don’t get pissy with me, I hate it as much as you do, it’s just a sad scientific fact, that’s why we are on this planet.

Grim, but then the truth often is. The main lesson learned here though, is to never reminisce on the times that now have gone. What’s the fckin point? Look forward not back.

Anyway I’m personally not going to think about it and instead list some of the things I like at the moment. Because that’s just a thing I like to do.

Things I’m Currently J’Adoring

Lip gloss that smells of candy floss.

My new iPhone case.

Going to Dubai very soon.

Wearing my hair up and it making my face look skinny and to quote a friend “you look like that app on snapchat that makes you look nice,” MAJ compliment.

Long coats being en vouge.

Coconut water being £1 in Sainsbury’s. I know it’s sad but that really gives me joy. Nothing else being half price excites me like the joy of £1 vita coco.

A psychotic ex texting me to say he’s “seeing someone”. That gave me and my pals great lolz.


Beyoncé getting everyone all up in their feelings.

Anyway see ya around, yeah?