And we’re done…

After my last encounter with the anal enthusiast, I’ve taken some time to consider the outcomes of my experiment. I call it an experiment because, honestly, dating is me being a scientist with the men being my lab rats.

The outcomes are as follows:

Hinge is reinstalled

My rotation is reinstalled

Dead air from Mr Anal

I also have whiplash

That last one is very important. I woke up this morning and my neck was fcked and now I’m walking down Seven Sisters Road wearing one of those asshole neck braces. I fit in quite well.

I’ll tell you how this happened, and see if you can keep up, because I’m not sure I even can.

I messaged him on Thursday: “Hey are you around tomorrow? I’m free.”

He aired me.

On Friday at 9pm, as I became tipsy I became mad at his rude airing of me. I deliberated. Okay so if he’s airing me he’s obviously just not that into me. So who cares?! What I’ll do is let myself inform him that he’s a rude bit of litter. So I texted.

“You’re so rude.”

He called immediately. Actual phone call.

So that went from me accepting he’s “just not that into me” to him ringing in 0.2 seconds when I called him out for being trash. For me, you don’t call someone you’re just not that into less than one second after they tell you that you’re junk.

Confused? Not only am I looking both ways, my head is in a 360 spin.

We talked and I told him he’s an asshole. He asked me over on Saturday for dinner. I told him I would be busy (which was a lie).

He was out, and he said: “Hang on, wait there LostItGirl!” so I did; and then then the line went dead.

I just went back to drinking and went to sleep early. Being cut off doesn’t annoy me. The ignoring of texts annoys me.

On Saturday morning when I got in from my run he texted.

“I’m rude….”

Yes, he put four dots. Everyone knows it’s three. This guy is a teacher? He’s a great teacher if you want to learn how to an asshole.

He was online on WhatsApp so I sent a voice note.

And guess what?

He ignored.

My whiplash was now getting bad I was Googling the nearest A&E, but before I checked myself in I fired off another text real quick:

“Don’t fckin ignore again”

And he messaged me back like a total psycho. “Hey how is your day?”

You’d think I’d be done with that, but no.

The next day I rang him because I still had the belief that it was worth telling him he is fckin stupid.

He didn’t answer.

Now we are on day two of silence and ignoring.

So to summarise:

It’s totally fine for an anal loving serial dating apper to just “not be that into me” even though I’m 89% more awesome than him. I’m fine with that. But stick to that narrative. Don’t start ringing and apologising and trying to see me. Stick to your truth. You’re ignoring me and being awful.

This chopping and changing, although I don’t fall for it, is just weird and confusing to the masses.

I have said numerous times, it’s only ever hard if you make it…

Nobody is too busy to reply. Have you seen how many tweets the Queen does?

If you choose to ignore someone, stand by your decision. Forever.

I feel like this isn’t for the benefit of my readers because we are aware, but for all those men who I know read this to get a woman’s perspective: Guys, get some fckin balls. Nobody is ever gonna give you shit for just being decent, it’s really not that difficult to just be respectable.

Guess who’s completely fckin over it? Also, I’ve deleted Hinge. I’m sticking with my rotation; we all know what it is and nobody gets hurt.