Hello new year

I’m not interested in discussing the ‘new year new me’ thing and how repugnant it is. I did it in 2016, and other than the numbers on the calendar, nothing else has changed with regard to that.

READ: New Year, New Me

In case you’ve not got the interest to click on the link, the premise is this: nobody worth knowing waits for a made up number to change at the end of another bunch of made up numbers just to “change themselves”.

In fact, is New Year even a new year? It still seems like Winter to me. I’d have chosen to put it in Spring. It makes so much more sense to me. When do the Chinese do it? Those guys are clever, they seem to have it all on lock; they’ve made pretty much everything I own, so maybe we should copy them.

Anyway, apparently in the middle of Winter it’s a new year and therefore we must all look at our shitty selves and change all the shitty things for one month before swiftly falling back into the asshole we were before. I’ll just cut out the middle man and stay an asshole.


Having said that, I have decided to leave some stuff behind with the old numbers. From numbers 2016 to 2018 it’s been the same old shit. I’m now exactly where I was on any one of those other dates, and although where I am isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just quite boring.

It’s nothing to do with the new numbers really. I’ve been trying to do this the last few months, but I’m going to leave behind my same boring rotation. The two key players are staying back in 2018 and it’s not really because of ‘new year new me’, it’s mostly because they devoured every bit of content I was putting up on my social media, sometimes quicker than I could produce it, over the Xmas and new year period and not once did either of them think to message and wish me a ‘happy whatever’.

So in this new set of numbers I am not conversing with them. I will not send any messages nor watch their sad little stories and reply with my great commentary like I did before.

*Disclaimer: I will reply to them if they bother to climb out of their sad voyeuristic ways.

Anyhow, happy new year, and don’t try and change yourself. I’m sure you’re just fine and it’s everyone else that’s the problem. Just be yourself and love yourself, because if you can’t do that, how the fck could anyone else?

You do you, but leave behind any trashy men because it’s boring, and trashy junk men are the only ones that ever make us bonkers.