I did everything I said I would

I closed out the last update with this:

“I’ll get drunk and have a one night stand with EDF then ignore him for a couple of weeks. I’ll probably get drunk and message 50. And I’ll probably ring God and ask if he was serious about moving in.” 

And, I did everything I said I would. More or less.

After my text war with EDF, inevitably enough, I invited him over. Judge all you like, but at least let me tell the story.

I was out somewhere really chic with some friends, and out of the blue 50 messaged.

Here’s a bit how that went:

50: “What you doing this evening?” (At 8:30pm too, which is pretty respectable)

LIG: “Well I never, 😂😂 I’m out with some friends.”

50: 😂😂

I wondered whether those two stupid yellow faces corresponded with what I had said. I thought maybe he should’ve followed up with a second message; off the top of my head, something like: “Shall we meet up later?” would probably have been a good one. But nothing was forthcoming. Which actually was good for me at that moment as I just don’t like him at all.

However, that had all changed by 2am.

Drunk LIG: “Why do you think we are incapable of meeting up?”

50: “You said you wanted to a couple of months ago. Gave it the all talk over text, I messaged you earlier and you weren’t interested. So never again.”

He seems angry… NEVER AGAIN! I’m sad for him. He’s rich and has a great job why is he so sad and just so mad? I want to meet him now so I can therapise him, or even cheer him up, but I really don’t think I have the capabilities to make either of those ambitions more than just cursory, fantastical notions.

He’s too much of a big case, it would be a drain on my life and resources. 

The next day I saw he had put up a story on Instagram and he’d been at dinner. So I was like: “Could have invited me to dinner, I mean I wouldn’t have come but that’s not the point.”

He duly ignored. I only did it because I thought it was funny, but if he will continue to act like a prick, I’ll act like a prick also, only veiled in humour. He’s boring anyway.

But it all stressed me out and so I drunk texted EDF.

“Wanna come over tomorrow?”

He said yes.

So I think this is the eighth chance I’ve handed to him, and what did he do? Well he cancelled, of course.

It was for the best because once I’d come to my senses I knew it was a stupid idea.

So I did everything I said I would.

Except 50 texted me, not the other way round.

I didn’t actually see EDF.

Also I didn’t text God and ask when he was moving in, but we have been speaking. 

I feel good to be honest. I’m doing well. But as for the newbies? No news there sadly, I’ve got a lot on at the moment. And all the fck wits texting distracts me from my new search. 

However, Hat Man has come back on the scene. But I keep saying no, because I really do not need that rn.

It really would be best if they all ignored me and I ignored them and we all lived separately ever after.

But… I can predict the future.

I’ll keep seeing God. I’ll keep annoying 50. And I’ll hate both of them and spend so much time on them I’ll forget all about the cold turkey and the new search, all while EDF doesn’t come round and bring me lemonade in a tin which I hate so he takes it back unopened for his packed lunch the next day.

Life’s great.