Also known as ‘ILLdirects’, sending a not-so-subtle fck you, a cry for help, or messages that resemble “I’m fine” are commonplace in 2017; they are, however, not the actions of someone who is fine.

I was recently the recipient of an indirect, and so that is what has compelled me to consider the subject.

Being on the receiving end of the party makes you chic and probably hot, so it’s all well and good getting some. But doing them? Well, that’s another story.

Direct communication can’t be undervalued in society. So my advice to the indirectors: don’t waste your time with that bullshit, just text the person directly. It really could get the conversation and interaction flowing in a more organic way.

I hadn’t seen any indirects in a while, so it was nice to get one. The content of the indirect contained some things I had said recently, which were essentially stolen and reproduced and just repeated back to me and others. It wasn’t as interesting as some of the indirects we are going to delve into today, but it still counts.

Unfortunately in this case I didn’t respond to the indirector. So for them, it probably wasn’t worthwhile. Indirects are always done to rouse a reaction, and so if none is forthcoming it becomes a bit pointless.

Example One

Maybe it was a week or two ago now, but I was sat with my friend and they themselves performed an ill-advised indirect. It was right in front of my eyes, although I wasn’t the target of course. They posted a profoundly photoshopped picture with a caption that they believed to represent a massive “FCK YOU”, but in actuality was more of a “Help me, I’m sad over you.”

No matter how clever or witty the indirect is, it’s still an indirect. And an indirect just gives its intended recipient a clear message that they are on your mind. It’s not the best way to go about things. If someone is on your mind why not just text or call them? Open up the possibility for a conversation. The worst you’re going to get is an airing and if you do then at least you can just move on.

Examples of indirects

“Hello” (Adele lyric)

Not so subtle that one is it? Never look to Adele to get your feelings out there unless you are a multi-millionaire who’s now married with one child.

“I don’t give a fck”

Yes, you do, or you’d be too busy not giving any fcks to give a fck about not giving a fck. I’m confused. But it only says the opposite.

“It’s amazing how fast someone can become a stranger”

Anyone that writes this has probably been blocked by whoever it’s aimed at so it’s just a total waste of time and emotion.

“Don’t act like you care”

Ok then. I won’t.

“Sometimes the person you’d take a bullet for… ends up behind the gun”

This is deep, so it should really get their attention. It might be better written in capitals though. Here’s what that would look like: “I LOVE YOU CALL ME”

“Beyoncé wasn’t built in a day”

Well technically, the foundations were laid. The process certainly started in one day, well one night; five minutes probably. Don’t ever compare yourself to Queen B as an indirect, because nobody is going to look at you and go: “Shit yeah! She has mad qualities like that of Beyoncé. A robot.” Also don’t do Beyoncé lyrics, especially from the body of work that is ‘Lemonade’.

Indirects are all around us, so beware. Sometimes they aren’t even for you, you just assume they must be. I got most of those indirects there from just a quick browse on Twitter. I saw a lot of hurt and anguish and pain during those five minutes.

If only they all had known about the anonymous Ask Me page here at LIG because I so feel I could have helped them and saved them doing their filthy laundry in public.

It’s all about dignity really.