Mixed up

Did you have a nice weekend? I did.

On Friday I DJ’d at a super braggy hotel in Chelsea for a load of Swedish people who were here on business and having a last night party!

I wanted to send them back in style, which for me involves dressing in glitter, throwing myself about like I’m Britney Spears (circa when she was good) and getting them and myself royally fcked up! And this is what I did.

I was playing all the big numbers and we were all having so much fun. They didn’t understand a word I was saying which is fine, and probably helped, but then I was asked if I could go on for longer than I’d been booked for. This was annoying because I’d worked to a musical schedule; as in I knew what songs and genres I needed to get in, and I’d basically done all the best stuff. I’d almost peaked too early in order to stay on longer, so then I plugged in my trusty iPhone and pulled up the Spotify Swedish 50.

"Yeah, someone asked her to play more stuff..."

“Yeah, someone asked her to play more stuff…”

I clocked the 10 biggest dance pieces I knew I had in my CD collection, got them ready and went from Swedish hit I’ve never heard of on my Spotify, to Avici, to dance hit, to Swedish hit on my Spotify I’ve never heard of. It was so fun, and somehow I pulled it off despite barely being able to stand.

I received lots of compliments at the end of the night, so I knew they’d had a genuinely good time. Plus I could see that anyway from the way they were all chucking their nuts around during some Abba medley or whatever it is they all listen to. Good night’s work.

Meltdown

Then I got in the car to take me home and the driver had on a radio station that was just playing music that I would consider to be reflective and rather somber. For some reason (and I believe it is because Adele was saying “Hello” to me) I started to have a meltdown on Twitter. The thing is nothing was actually wrong, I was just really tired and tipsy and I took to social media. It was an unwise move. I received three direct messages of a concerning nature, but I don’t reply to them because… I just don’t. Text me or message me publicly, what the fck do you think I’m running here?

But I did have a conversation with a friend who had been concerned. I was like “Do I sound that mental?”

When they said “No, but we all care about you,” I committed the ultimate crime. I ghost posted. I hate me for it now but it’s too late. I went to bed having ghosted and regretted it the next morning; you simply must stand by your convictions.

Later that morning I went swimming and to the steam room with my housemate, and we organised this via what’s app instead of either of us getting our fat asses out of bed to walk a few metres. I found the irony in that really rather pleasurable.

And now here’s the fun part

And now here’s the fun part, also on my tipsy car journey from Friday I had messaged guy 1. We had a loose arrangement pencilled in for Saturday night, and his words were “I’ll let you know on Friday if Saturday’s on.”

And here’s the clincher, he added a “for sure” at the end of the message, and yet come Friday he didn’t bother messaging.

haha-for-sure-dumb-bitch

You must know by now that a lack of manners is a huge LostItGirl hate, so on Friday during my car journey, rather than archiving the prick and ignoring him like a chic person (me sober) would usually do, I decided to call him out on it.

This is of course an exercise in futility as he will never change, he’s always been like that. But I was pissed so my sensibility had diminished and I said something comparable to the following:

“Not letting me know if you want to hang out tomorrow could be perceived as you not wanting to. And it probably is, but I’m shit at taking hints.”

The reason I can’t take hints is because this guy is the most confusing weirdo ever. He always replies, he was and usually is the one that brings up the idea of hanging out. So what does that tell you? To me it says he kinda thinks I’m ok and he wants to hang out. But he then acts rude like that?

Hint

I don’t even come into his mind for half a second to think to send me a courteous text to say that Saturday is a no go? What the fck is that?

Anyway I heard nothing back from him and I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him, because although I was a bit, I still manage to find it curiously fascinating and in turn somewhat humorous. Actually in the cold light of day, I just find him to be rude but the whole set up is literally hilarious and I’m like this close (I’m holding up a penny sideways to indicate how close I am) to just deleting and ignoring him.

Anyway I let him know I wasn’t mad and tried to explain to him that actually not letting people know where they stand with life or plans or anything can be perceived in a number of ways so it’s best to communicate effectively.

I pointed out that this would be something I would explain to my mum if she was a moron and that it’s not something exclusive to us simply because we’ve previously had sexual intercourse. It’s just basic humanity and a touch of respect. He ignored ?

This is me, explaining to a grown up once again how to be kind…

I think we can all see how this one is going to pan out.

may-your-goals-pan-out-cartoon

XTIAN

Anyway there’s someone who always makes me laugh because he’s hilarious, and that is my best boy pal Christian. So we went down to our local pub, which is seriously cool, and we had dinner there. I spent the whole time talking about how fat I’ve become and asked him to pick what I should have to eat because I’m too fat to decide.

I started planning his wedding to a girl he’s only met once but I’ve decided she’s a total delight and they’d be the best couple ever so I’m going to try and make it happen. I will be his best man and as I started planning my outfit he just got up silently and went to the bar saying something about me being a lunatic. Whatever.

Best Woman

We laughed a lot and I felt so much better about guy 1. Then guy 2 sent me some cryptic nonsense which is his thing. I love it. He’s bat shit crazy and I’m so into that.

Basically everyone is, including me.

Guy 1 then got in touch on Sunday afternoon like nothing had happened. I thought this was very fckin brave and admirable. Personally I just so couldn’t swerve shit like that, it’s literally phenomenal. He’s awesome and it made me laugh, but I’m losing patience so I kept my replies to a bare minimum.

He’s saying we will hang out next week, but I won’t hold my breath. And actually who cares? He’s such hard work with his inability to be normal like a proper friend would be, it would totally keep me skinny so it’s kinda worth persevering for a few more weeks.

XO

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