My Current Texting Story

I have many text stories, enough to write one each day, but if I were to tell you one each day this blog would be called TextItGirl. Which actually for the purposes of today’s story, I’ll call myself.

So I have the weirdest relationship with my phone. I love it and I hate it. We argue, we make up. We go through a lot together. I’m known to ask it “why????” about 46 times a day.

Siri tells me what to do in all of my darkest moments, he’s like my own therapist when my actual therapist is unavailable.

Siri

Some serious shit went down the other day, all via text. I don’t know if my phone has been keeping things from me and decided to let me have it all in one night, or whether my spirit animal has been texting their spirit animals, but something has been going on.

Spirit ANimal

It was a normal day, I woke up and I behaved just liked this:

READ: Morning

After this I went and sat in a box room with one window and some headphones listening to the current musical hits and some from the past which really people need to get the fck over, but for some reason can’t and so still enjoy.

After that I went home.

I’d started a text conversation with the last guy I went on a date with.

He is mental.

Now, I can deal impressively with a nut job, for starters I am one. For seconds, I’ve dealt with some of the most unwell psychos ever, and thirdly I’m just a fcking great people person.

Anyway, this guy is giving me whiplash, which would be fine if whiplash helped you lose weight. But it doesn’t.

So basically he just doesn’t get me and I really don’t get him, which is a shame. A shame for him.

The conversation goes a little something like this:

TextItGirl: “Hey when you wanna hang out?”

Psycho: “Tuesday”

TextItGirl: “Can’t do next week sorry”

Psycho: “Wednesday, Thursday, Tuesday, Monday”

Side note: Now at this point I’m thinking of ringing Craig David purely to confirm that this is a fcked up weird order of days that makes no sense in the context of this conversation.

TextItGirl: “You’re just not that into it”

Psycho: “Have we not established that text gags don’t work here?”

Side note: No actually we haven’t. All we’ve established is that you are fckin crazy and crazy is fine if you’re at least getting laid/expensive gifts. I’m getting neither.

TextItGirl: “Where was the joke?”

Psycho: “Are you serious?”

Psycho: “Fuck this LostItGirl I’m not doing this”

Psycho: “I’m still at work and I can’t keep doing this with you”

Psycho: “This is meant to be the fun bit?!”

Side note: I admire a guy that will drop two or more texts in a row. It’s really cool because most of the time you struggle to get a guy to text you anything more than: “Sex?”

So actually I’m super impressed and slightly turned on.

TextItGirl: “Yeah if you actually get to hang out together. It can be super fun!!!! But all you’ve done is knock me back every single time I’ve tried to see you. Next week is cool. Speak then. LostItGirl X

Side note: He’s been trying to act like a badass when actually he’s a really nice guy. I can’t stress enough that I don’t play games as has been mentioned before.

READ: Monopoly

So this is the quickest way to deter me from any relationship.

Psycho: “Dude I just said to you in an earlier message you can have any day you want next week?!”

Psycho: “WTF?”

Psycho: “I can’t keep doing this shit man. I’m sorry”

Side note: So I then take that as me being dumped AGAIN from a relationship I’m not in. It happened before here:

READ: Poor Little LostItGirl:

What is going on with people packing me from nothing? It’s so unclear.

Anyways as I’ve just clearly been dumped, I’m obviously not gonna reply.

So then after an hour passes:

Psycho: “Fuck it I can deal, you seem pretty cool and whether as a lover or just your homie I’d like to still know you.”

Side note: I’m lost now, I don’t even know what year it is anymore. See what I mean about whiplash?

Turn off

I love a bonkers guy I really do, but that last three-hour texting story has left me so uncertain of my own mobile phone I’m left with no choice but to turn it off for a bit.

When I turn it back on, my ex is texting. It’s one I’ve never even blogged about because it was so long ago. He’s in a band and a bit more broken than me, you can imagine how that story went I’m sure. It was short lived. So anyway he sticks his head up fully out of the blue.

Then so does ANOTHER ex. This one has a brother in a very cool band and he himself makes the loveliest music. We’ve been friends with benefits for years, not heard from him in months though.

Seriously wtf is going on? And on top of that I had 69 what’s apps.

69

I love my phone and I also hate it. I’m in a full time relationship with my phone.

Goodbye.

XOXO Textitgirl.

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