No, I really don’t look at your socials

I realised just last week that I actually hate 60% of the people I follow on Instagram. It’s a true story. I really, really do.

If it were up to me, I would follow:


The Olsen twins


Fashion accounts


My mum because she never posts

My brother

This fit model I can’t wait to have sex with

1 to 3 of my friends (on mute)

And that’s about it really…


The reason I can’t do this is because people are so damn needy, you have to follow them.

You wouldn’t have to if you didn’t have to see these people ever, but sadly these are my friends and I have to hang out with them, and with that, comes following them. Also, work people get so offended if you don’t follow them, because they are so hungry for followers. It’s all such a crashing bore.

I find myself following (but never looking at) a ton of people’s social media accounts. I never look at any of their posts, because my interest level falls below zero at the idea of it. Unless I’m in it of course. Then I’ll look. Boy will I look.

(PS: Thanks for the zoom feature, Insta. Love you.)

My approach applies to all the social medias. The only snap story I’ve sat and watched and generally liked is Kylie Jenner’s. One morning I watched her whole story and I swear it took me 20 minutes. It was first thing in the morning and I did this before I even replied to two guys on my WhatsApp who had both professed their love to me. One was late at night, the other early morning.

It’s tough being me, but watching Kylie before reading and ignoring these guys’ messages only spoke for how much I was enjoying my Jenner moment.

Some shit I think about socials

Here’s some shit I think about socials.

  • If you stop looking at a guy’s social who you were once boning, you’re fully over him. Congratulations. Go and be free and have lots of fun and fly like an eagle…

  • Clicking on a person the guy you like is speaking to on social is not strong. Don’t do this. But everyone does. But don’t.

  • Mute everyone on Twitter. It’s so fun, and I wish I could do it on Insta.

  • Don’t pity follow on snap. You kind of have to on Twitter and Insta. But there’s no need on snap. Snapchat is free of these needy social shackles.

  • If you accidentally go onto someone’s Insta story that you didn’t want to, blocking them is the only way to get back some dignity. Truth.

Try as much as possible to be so wrapped up in yourself that you have no awareness of other people’s sappy socials. They’re all lies anyway. Read this blog for confirmation of that.


Remember to only like things that are actually good. Don’t be throwing about likes and favourites willy nilly, think it through. If everyone followed this rule, people would be forced to be better at socials, or give up posting altogether. Don’t encourage them with meaningless likes or pity likes. I will only offer up a like if it’s actually good/about me. My likes are precious.

It’s hard having to follow people we don’t want to. I understand. I mean, I only have to look at the LostItGirl Twitter to work out that… Oh. Oh shit perhaps it’s just me that’s stuck following people I don’t want to out of manners/vague kindness? LostItGirl does, of course, have just over four followers.