Finally someone has come up with a name for my number one pet hate; orbiting…

Over the last few years I’ve been sent slightly crazy by stupid guys who constantly watch my amazing content on Snapchat and Instagram, but they don’t message.

They silent watch.

They silent watch everything I do.

They’re usually the first to watch silently.

They don’t message.

They just watch.

And it’s very ill.

Some girl has now dubbed this behaviour as ‘orbiting’. I embrace this name wholeheartedly. It was just so exciting to find out it’s actually a thing, and a global thing at that. It wasn’t just something that bothered myself and my best friend. 

So what is it?

They orbit around you, round and round, never touching base, and it’s utterly pointless, unlike the Earth, which orbits the Sun with the purpose of bringing seasons and life to the planet. In the article the girl tried to work out why people did it, but she was unable to come to a solid conclusion.

The thing that always annoys me about it is when I have zero interest in someone, I simply don’t watch their stuff. I don’t watch it because, well because I don’t care. And if they’re not talking to you, why are they watching your every move? Why do they care? Does this mean they do care? 

I guess it means they do care a little bit, but certainly not enough to want to hang out with you though.

Never at any point in the article did the girl come to the conclusion that these people are just sad, slightly psycho, totally bored and definitely ill.

But that was the conclusion I drew.

Orbiting is basically the same as benching, which we covered years ago.

The article asked an orbiter why he orbits and he said a load of words that didn’t really go anywhere and that I’ve now forgotten. But the main thing was it’s just kinda like keeping an eye on you in case they wanna hook up again. I think that’s what he was trying to say. But it doesn’t take a genius to work out that’s what they’re doing.

The article suggests blocking these orbiters, but I’ve finally learned to accept my three main psycho orbiters and I let them watch freely. It doesn’t annoy me anymore, it just makes me laugh and feel a bit sorry for them. Go watch someone you actually do wanna hang out with, or even better, go watch your girlfriend’s shit.

Or, and here’s my best suggestion: don’t watch anyone’s shit, just live your life instead.