Serial Dater

I was, as eluded to previously (Read D8 here), open to dating – albeit somewhat hesitantly. Based on that first experience I’ve been on four more. It would appear I’ve now become a serial dater.

It’s such fun to go out, get trashed and make people simultaneously fall in love with you and hate you. It’s now like my favourite thing to do.

D8 1

D8 1 was with the same guy from my original reintroduction to dating. He was actually a really decent guy, I liked him, so I gave it a second try.

This time I was pretty dishevelled, but I knew he was the kind of guy that would be fine with that. I didn’t think I’d be judged. It was weird meeting him sober, I was a touch out of my comfort zone, but I felt fine straight away because he’s not a massive prick.

We hung out for a bit sober and I didn’t totally hate it, so that was a good sign. We just acted like two normal sober people who don’t hate each other. Cool. So then we went for something to eat in a pub that thinks it’s chic but that really isn’t. Candles and bare wood are far from très chic, but whatever, people seem to buy into it. Anyway we ate. It was disgusting. I’m feeling nauseous even mentioning it.


The reason I ate was that I really didn’t feel like I had brought my A game, and I know I wasn’t actually feeling on the money at all, so I thought that perhaps some red wine might help. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, I don’t really remember. It was over a week ago now so I’m struggling to recall him, the wine, or the date.

Vague memories are there… It think it may have been funny, but that’s about it. Anyway we’ve spoken lots and lots since, but he hasn’t suggested taking me somewhere fun or seeing me again at all, so I’m pretty much over it. I’ll stop replying to the texts soon because, well because what’s the fckin point? Still, as the social lubricant that helped me slide myself up into the dating chamber, I’m grateful to him for his participation.

D8 2

This one didn’t actually happen. The guy didn’t text me and like fck I was gonna text him. Men chase, women don’t. So date 2 was obviously shit being as it didn’t actually happen.

D8 3

Undeterred I went for my next date the following day. It was quite funny, but I doubt I’ll be seeing the guy again. He is from a relatively well-known comedy series, and he is pretty funny. It’s just a shame that his comedy got him into trouble towards the end of the night.

I’m not too sure if I’m that hard to make laugh. I think I probably am. But some people just get me from day one, you know? They know the route. This guy was one of those. Obviously we just went to some bars in North West LDN (it’s where they all like to hang out, still. It will never change). We’d been to a few places and he was being funny but he was also quite loud and seemed to want to draw attention to himself.

This was all fine and that until we reached the third bar. It was medium-busy and we were at the bar, me perched upon a stool and him parading in front of me doing kind of some sketch relating to trying to get through Oxford Street at the weekend or something. Anyway I could see he was annoying these big looking guys next to us and sadly for him, perhaps due to five or six alcoholic beverages, his enthusiastic faux-barging got out of hand and led him to knock one of the guy’s drinks out of his hand. There was a miniature stand off before the two guys literally carried him outside and I never heard or saw him again. I was just sat there sipping my JD through a straw and listening to Britney in my head before I ordered my Uber to come get me.

It was fun. Hope he’s OK.

D8 4

This wasn’t so much a date, it was basically me just pulling. But it’s not what I usually do so I thought I’d put it in the d8 bracket.

I went out with my friends in the middle of the week. This is when all the cool kids go out, very rarely will you catch me anywhere at a weekend. I mean you will sometimes find me out at weekends, but if I do go out at weekends it will only be to a local pub or a private party.

We were in some dark underground place in central London that smells of sex and real cigarettes. I never go anywhere that smells of real cigarettes so I was really enjoying inhaling that scent. I was doing tequila at the bar and talking super loud about penis sizes. Everyone was laughing and it was lots of fun.

I then decided I wanted to dance so off I went “alone” to find this tiny dance floor. This skinny guy came up to me and took my e cigarette from me without saying a word and began smoking it. Obviously this made me fall instantly in love. Usually I wouldn’t stand next to someone skinnier than me, but I was kind of intrigued so we were dancing and stuff and it was way fun. But he still hadn’t actually spoken to me. I asked what his name was, and he said a name. I’ve forgotten it. Anyway he didn’t ask mine back so I walked off and made sure he got a great view of my derrière in my Les Chiffoniers trousers. I then obviously slagged him off to my friends and we had some more tequila. I went off to dance again, and he was back over in under four seconds. Shit escalated real quick and we were suddenly making out. So hot.

Anyway I don’t want to continue telling this story because it’s turning me on and, as it turns out, he was a girl. I’m very confused right now. Speak soon, yeah?

LostItGirlYou live and you learn…Well, you live.