Time Better Spent

I feel like some of us (me) are definitely wasting valuable time on people and things that really don’t benefit ourselves in any way whatsoever. So I thought we could think of some fun things to do with our time instead, replacing the things that consume moments of our valuable lives, but that really just aren’t worth the seconds.

The Waster Guy

Ok so that guy, that one who has little or no interest in you, yet still keeps you there for his own sick and twisted needs. He’s wasting your time.

Instead of talking to him, why not take that time and invest it in (firstly the obvious option) a new man who you may have a chance of a future with? But if you’re not really up for that just yet, why not try starting a blog? To start up a blog, I have no idea how you do this. But it’s a good idea to find out.

Blog

And then instead of every time you were going to text the guy to ask about hanging out before being ignored, or instead of getting into a conversation with them that will end up going precisely nowhere because they are simply just not into you, you could write some stuff down on your blog.

You could even blast them out on it if you like (they don’t text you so it’s highly unlikely they’ll be reading your blog). Super fun, and it’s time much better spent.

The food addiction

Summer’s coming, it’s probably time to stop being fat. Seriously, 62% of your body is going to be on show most days during the summer – even more if you’re a slut.

So instead of eating, why not try throwing up? I’m just kidding, of course. But there are alternatives to over-eating.

Food shopping can always be more fun with creative thinking

Food shopping can always be more fun with creative thinking

Instead of wasting your time stress-eating burgers, or whatever the stuff you binge eat is that will in no way get you a summer body, you could try the (firstly the obvious one) gym? But if that’s really not for you, why not try napping? Seriously, sleeping is a great way to avoid eating, and maybe you’re thinking: “But LostItGirl I work every day, how am I going to nap when I’m at work?”

Well duh? Have you actually ever tried? It just takes an element of creativity. Say for your lunch break you usually go to the local eatery. Don’t. Instead, find a quiet spot, set your alarm, lie down on a fur throw (you’ll need to bring that with you from home I imagine) and put on your eye mask. Just see what happens.

BY3H8D

You could do the same on all work breaks, whatever the time of these. Try to do the same at meal times too, because you’ll be at home so it will be even easier to do. Sometimes I nap all the way through, I wake up and it’s past 7pm (you must never eat past 7pm) and I realise I’ve avoided two key meals and all the snacking opportunities so I can just drink until bed time – safe in the knowledge I missed all meals. Try it.

Worrying

Another huge waste of time is worrying about work, other people and just worry and anxiety in general. It’s a waste of time. Although I do like to have regular panic attacks because I think they’re a great way to get attention and I do believe they in some way help with weight loss, really worrying is a huge waste of time.

Instead of all that headspace you fill thinking about what other humans are saying about you (trust me you wouldn’t want to know anyway), or worrying about your performance at work, try this:

Think of weird shit to say on social media to make people think even less of you. Have you ever wondered how Kanye can come up with so much complete nonsense and so many weird and wonderful things? It’s because he doesn’t worry.

Kanye

I imagine he employs a method similar to me. Here’s how I am able to talk nonsense on social media that kind of means something but also kind of nothing at the same time. I mean really, nothing means anything anymore does it? But it’s something to do.

Think of a word, a scenario or a person. Pretty much draw it in a circle in your mind. Then think of other words loosely associated with it.

Here’s an example I made for you:

Time Better Spent

Take some of those words, chuck them all together with other “doing words” and voila! So here, I could perhaps say: “Airplane mode that drizzle.” And what I’m saying is that I’ve just turned off the radio because ‘Hotline Bling‘ came on. Or maybe I’m saying I’ve muted that drippy guy who’s messaging me telling me they love me. Who knows? Who even cares? If the hat fits, people can wear it. Fun is it not?

And that guys, is how to tweet nonsense that nobody will be able to decipher. This is time better spent.

Checking someone’s social media

Eugh. How many times must I say it? You will NEVER EVER see anything you want to see if you are going to check the social media account of someone you’re interested in. Avoid it at all costs, your brain will be a much clearer and calmer place to hang out in. Plus the psychos I know who do check the social accounts of someone they fancy spend hours doing so with no end result other than a feeling of sickness and anger, before they are ready to check again minutes later.

They wake up, stalk, get livid, stalk all day, feel upset, stalk before bed, go to bed gutted. They then wonder why they are fckin insane. It’s a very basic thing, as soon as you stop looking you stop caring. Then you become a much happier and attractive person and that’s usually when the object of your stalking finally begins to like you.

Stalking

Anyway, instead of the time spent on stalking, why not download Quiz Up? It’s a quiz app, it’s free, and you can play against other sad no-mark strangers. But you can play against them safe in the knowledge that it’s not because you’re a top class bed wetter, it’s because you’re occupying your time with a general knowledge quiz instead of stalking someone you once had sexual intercourse with and who now hates you because they can no doubt sense your desperation from miles away.

"I just wet the bed, wanna play Quiz Up? Star Trek is my favourite subject."

“I just wet the bed, wanna play Quiz Up? Star Trek is my favourite subject.”

Tick tock, tick tock, read LostItGirl, it’s hot.

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